I resigned!

I've been meaning to post this for some time now, and as readers will see from the post following this one, life has just been too hectic to get it done. My main goal in posting this is to preserve my thought process and reactions for Miss Mouse, should she become a parent herself someday. The whole blog will be going into some sort of book at some point, sort of a "baby book extension".

Anyway, about a month ago, I noticed a dramatic change in my sweet, even-tempered, easy-going little gal. All of a sudden, she seemed to need holding constantly, demand complete and total attention at all times, and scream a lot. Meanwhile I was in the midst of my "fall work" which I had planned to consist of canning our own spaghetti sauce for the entire winter (at one jar per week, I figured I needed 36 jars to make it from Sept-May; each batch makes four jars, so I needed to make nine batches), freeze our own pizza sauce, again for the entire winter (again, each batch makes four servings, so I figured on nine batches), freeze veggies from the farmers' market to last us through the winter (corn, peppers, peas, beans, beets), and find apples to make our own applesauce (don't even ask how many batches I planned on for that). I planned to get this list done before the pumpkins were ready for me to roast the flesh and seeds. My goal was to have us sustain ourselves completely and totally on farmers' market produce (since my garden was an utter flop, yielding all of two meals of beans). I foresaw myself as the perfect homemaker for my family - certainly we would not be buying any canned or frozen vegetables this year. We would not pay out the nose for high fuel costs, nor would we have any worries about fresh veggies imported from who-knows-where and contaminated with who-knows-what. Afterall, I figured that having the privilege of staying home with my baby obligated me to be the best possible food-preparer, housekeeper, mommy, and wife possible (there's a fair amount of guilt that goes along with having a job that you like as much as I like mine right now!). And in my mind that translated to the best - period.

So, Miss Mouse continued her transition to toddlerhood, and I became more and more frazzled. How was I going to get all this work done with this needy, active little toddler under foot? I had towel orders from my business to fill in addition to all my "fall work". Things were getting crazy, and Mommy was getting crabby, crabby.

Finally one day things clicked. Perhaps just doing the best I can do while still enjoying my little toddler is enough. Perhaps the best thing for her is not to have a frazzled mommy and farmers'-market-fresh veggies. Perhaps she needs a happy, calm, stable mommy and decently-healthy food instead. Yeah, I know. Duh. The thing is, I know there are women who are able to do everything - keep the baby happy; cook salsa, spaghetti sauce, apples, canned veggies, frozen veggies, dried fruit, etc., etc.....But once I finally gave up the ship and realized I'm not one of them, things have gotten a lot happier around here. For everyone. The minute - literally, the day - that I gave up the demands I had put on myself (because thankfully they were not there from Miss Mouse's Daddy or Miss Mouse herself, of course!), Miss Mouse got extraordinarily less clingy and needy. Hmmm...coincidence???? She still loves to be held, a demand which I love to oblige. And we're struggling with "Mommy phone time". But overall, I am a hundred times less exhausted, feel like much less of a failure (could it be that I don't have empty jars staring at me constantly?), and am enjoying the rambunctious, adorable little toddler that is blooming at our house.

Of course I still do my best to keep up the house; we have laundry days, bathroom cleaning days, vacuuming days, and straightening days, and I am freezing some peppers; I'm hosting a Bible study one day a week this fall, and I work out everyday because I think it's important for Miss Mouse to see that. Miss Mouse does her best to help me keep things clean and busy and to mess the house back up again, as well!! At least now I'm free to enjoy this new stage! I should have resigned much sooner!