Finally!

Feel free to add your own caption idea to these pictures.

 

 I happen to love them and think they are some of the best I've gotten of Sunny since this fall; she's been going through a silly photo phase.  Personally, I'm thrilled about these pictures, also, because I made her this hat. Finished it, in fact, at 10:30 p.m. on September 15th. James was born at 4:30 a.m. on September 16th. As excited as I was about having finished the silly thing - that is proportionately how much she hated it. After all, silly Mommy, it is black, and black is a boy color! Never mind the pink edging and multicoloured buttons. She crack me up. But she FINALLY put the hat on yesterday! I knew I had to grab the camera because who knows when that hat might be deemed acceptable again!

 

 

 

 

Mike had some great captions for these "cool cucumber" photos. Any other suggestions? His were sort of political but very funny.

Another Birthday

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Bob!!!!

Beautiful

 

These are song lyrics. I think you can find the song here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGZkrn_vaqU

This song has played on the Christian station that Mighty and I listen to while he's going down for his naps. It brings tears to my eyes sometimes because it reminds me of little Sunny. Already she feels inferior to her big sister; already she looks at pictures of herself and says things like, "I don't like my smile; it doesn't look like my sister's." My heart cracks a bit when she says those things, and I redouble my efforts to be sure both of our girls know they are beautiful, talented, and created in the image of God. I remember being a big sister who wished so badly to be more like her little sister, a big sister who felt neither beautiful nor talented. Though that's the lie of the world, that's not what I want for these girls.

 

Miss Sunny, at four, you have a sense of humor to rival both your Grandpa Bob's and Grandpa Dick's, a voice that reminds me of your Auntie Laura's, a graceful running stride far beyond your years, dancing rhythm like I remember in your Great Grandpa Don's when he would twirl me around the dance floor, and so much sweetness from your grandmas and aunties and Daddy. May you always know that no matter what you do with those gifts, you are always loved for who you are.

Sunny Funnies

Some people read the Sunday paper for "Funnies".  I have Sunny. These are some of my favorites from the past weeks:

*Reading to Mighty Mouse: "A is for apple, B is for book [so on and so forth - fast forward to V], V is for....confused look....hesitation.....fiddle?"

*Same book to Mighty Mouse: "R is for....confused look....hesitation.....bunny?" - I guess "R" should have been first in this description since it was in real life, but hopefully you get the picture. It was sweet and funny.

*After complaining about supper for quite some time: "Mommy, this food wants to come back out of my mouth!" - I think it was her way of saying it made her want to puke. I thought it was a fairly polite way to be rude about the dinner I had cooked! Sidenote: She ate her whole portion, so I'm not too worried.

*We had quite a time trying to figure out why Sunny was irate everytime I offered her the Mickey Mouse overalls she was asking for. I would offer them; she would go ballistic and say "NO! I want the overalls!". I would answer that these ARE the overalls. More ballistic screaming and shouting. It was actually sad, pathetic screaming, so I kept trying to understand where the confusion was coming in; obviously one of us was not "getting" something. Finally, she was able to say that the "overalls" she wanted were the ones Miss Mouse had worn the other day. I said, "Oh! The suspenders?" Yep. Cries and screams ceased sort of hilariously immediately, and she calmly answered, "Oh, yeah. I forgot what they were called." Problem solved.

*Miss Mouse was spelling words by sounding them out. She spelled "PRAE" for "PRAY" because the "E" is silent and makes the "A" say it's name. I was impressed, but I hadn't heard her the first time she spelled it. I said, "what was it you were spelling?" Sunny answered: Nugus (it's pronounced "new-gus" and is a funny name Grandpa Bob always jokes about - i.e., "is your name Nugus?"). I guess Sunny has picked up Grandpa Bob's sense of humor.

*The other day the girls listened to a cd of hymns by Fernando Ortega (I could listen to him all day, incidentally). That night when they went to bed, Miss Mouse was angry that Sunny picked the "kyms cd" for their bedtime cd. Miss Mouse doesn't like going to sleep to music with words, apparently. *sigh* Anyway, it is only five songs long, so I told Miss Mouse she could deal with those five songs and sleep after them for one night.  In a huff, as much of a huff as Miss Mouse gets into anyway, Miss Mouse said to her sister, "Well, it isn't called a "kym" cd; it's called a hymn cd." In an effort to get back at big sister, Sunny, in a somewhat hopeful voice, said, "Well, Mommy it must be called a hymn cd then because it is a boy singing... right, Mommy?". There are not words for how badly I wanted to just say yes.

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

Our valentines

 

Miss Mouse liked the above picture best because "there is no tongue in that picture".  Sunny does not like this picture "because there is no tongue sticking out".

 

Go figure.

 



 

I think they look a lot alike when they all have the same, contemplative, mom-are-we-done-yet expression.

 

 

His onesie says, "My first Valentine's Day" on it; we did the pictures right away this morning before the cute onesie got spit-up all over it. Currently (1:51 p.m.) it is in the washing machine in the hopes that it will be clean and dry again to meet Daddy at the door tonight.

He is both loved and lovable.

 



 

The loving big sisters and the easy-going little brother - they're a good combination!

Happy (?) Birthday, Sunny

 

 

We have a little three year old who is very sad this week.  It's been a tough, rough week for us all. Lots of whining, screaming, tears, tantrums, shouting.....She's nervous.

 

Now, I have friends who have children who are nervous about truly serious issues. It makes it seem strange to type out how stressed-out Sunny is, considering her stress is coming from - ta-da - her birthday.

 

What a ridiculous thing to be sad about, no?! Nonetheless, she is sad and nervous, and even though it is silly to the rest of the inhabitants of our dwelling, it is not silly to her. She can't distinguish the difference between anxiety from life-and-death experiences from the anxiety of the unknown of being another year older. So, we're cuddling a lot, spending some time in a time-out chair, cuddling even more, and facing some unfortunate natural consequences (until I fix them, which I will be doing - I'm not going to leave the dog's valentine behind the stack of toys and boxes in the closet forever....seriously, it's his - the dog's - birthday on Valentine's Day - but I'll leave it where it was thrown for awhile).

 

I've tried lots of "now that you're bigger, you get to XYZ", but none of it has worked yet. Today while I was getting Mighty Mouse down for a nap, I prayed for some inspiration to help this sweet little girl transition to being "even older", and it came to my mind to show her why I, in particular, love that she is getting older.

 

I went downstairs and dusted off a plastic tote that is always in close reach but that hasn't been opened in awhile now. A plastic tote that I thought would never be put in a storage closet. Ouch. Mike had suggested that one time and then never again. But I moved it in there myself when we got here. Within reach it remains, but it no longer owns its own room.

 

In a few seconds I found what I was looking for - a baby book for a baby who we will never see grow up and get older. In the weeks after Hope's death I wrote in a baby book for her, but, though I've gone through many of our things from that time, over and over again through the years, I've never gone back and looked at what I wrote in there. Today, though, I decided Sunny and I would go through it together because maybe that would help her understand how happy her mommy is that I get to share her life of more and more trips around the sun with her.

 

She hopped up on my lap and snuggled in, and we started through the book. We looked at the pages that talked about how we had announced our pregnancy to our friends, looked at pages of information about mommy and daddy and how we met, looked at pages about grandmas and grandpas - all the while I remembered how important it was for me to write those pages as "the mommy" and to write about "the daddy" and "the grandparents" even though we were parents and grandparents with empty, silent arms.  Sunny was interested and seemed to be enjoying herself, perhaps mainly because she was getting more snuggle time.

 

Then we came across a page that was dedicated to our "first peek" at our baby.

 

And all of a sudden, my voice caught, and I couldn't breathe for a few seconds.

 

 

If you can't read the date above, it says "February 7, 2005". The date of the only ultrasound we had of Hope.

 

 Two years to the day before we met Miss Mouse was the only time we ever saw her sister alive.

 

It's hard to explain how I felt about this, but I know for certain that I am sorry to have missed or overlooked the overlap in those dates until now. I wish I had realized. I am glad we do now.

 

With renewed energy and perspective, I cuddled Sunny and assured her that being four will be a great thing and that I am thankful for each day I get to be with her and learn more about her and help her and love her. What an incredible privilege it is to have this "little and big sister" who so loves her brother beyond belief, idealizes her older sister, wants to be a helpful big girl, yet longs to be the little girl in my arms forever; she tells me "I will never leave your house, Mom!", and for now, those are beautiful words because it is her way of telling me how much she loves us. To think that we have, also, our sweet Miss Mouse and now little Mighty Mouse? I know it is true; I know they will pounce on me (the girls) and cry (Mighty) far too early for my body tomorrow morning; I have a feeling Sunny will continue at least sporadic whining and screaming the rest of the week; but it still sometimes feels like a dream that we get to be their parents. A dream come true.

Six

 

The day began with breakfast in bed. Mike bought mammoth muffins from the grocery store last night, so we could be prepared for breakfast in bed this morning. Note: We wake with wild hair around here. W.I.L.D.  It should be also noted that Miss Mouse mentioned to me as we were brushing her teeth this morning that, "My hair really was pretty tame this morning, wasn't it, Mom?". Just sayin'.

 

 

This is how they woke up about 10 days ago. Before I turned in one night, I checked on them as always and found them both asleep in "the box" which is created when Miss Mouse has her bed in a trundle position pulled out from underneath the lofted bed. Sunny's crabby face is fake here, though when she was denied one of her sister's birthday stickers today, she did draw a "crabby face" of herself that was remarkably accurate. Ah, the play therapy at chez Toomey.  Anyway, they were allowed to sleep in the box tonight again as a way to celebrate Miss Mouse's birthday. They'll enjoy it again in about ten days for Sunny's.

 

 

So, how did the tiny, new baby above turn into the long-legged little girl below?

 

I think we brought her home and blinked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Mouse seemed like such a big girl in the picture above, but she was only 3.5 and still had a full set of baby teeth.

 

 

 

Now we have a full set of six-year molars, four permanent teeth, do a great job sounding out words, put up beautifully with Mommy's insistence on phonics-rules-learning, can explain addition facts left and right, cannot seem to stop dancing even to brush teeth, and just this week learned Ode to Joy on the piano. 

 

 

 Yet, if she could do none of those things, Miss Mouse would still be the most amazing Miss Mouse I know.  Her sensitivity, her caring, her love, her sense of humor that often just doesn't quite "get it"....Those are what make her, her.

 

 

It's not because of all she can do that we celebrate this birthday and cherish these past six years and look ahead to the next years we get to share with her.

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It's because of who she is. Quiet, sensitive, perceptive, slightly aloof sometimes (Daddy says she's "his girl" in that), very focused on what she's interested in, trusting, faithful, determined....What's exciting is to see what she and God do with who she is, and what they've done in the past six years has been so fun to see.

 



 

Miss Mouse